so i went through previous posts in my blog and i realized that i was so into life back then. i guess you can say that i kind of toned down..? dont get me wrong, im still satisfied with life but just not as much.
im really missing the people that impacted my sophomore year sincerely.
steven agdeppa- although we didnt TALK all the time the way me and my closer friends this year talk, i still considered him as a close one. someone who i could vent to on the spot or just someone i can just feel comfortable around. i miss our 1on1 sessions after school every other friday. he taught me that gay people arent so bad and that being gay doesnt mean that theyre not into other things that guys are interested in.
i distinctly recall my first time trying out for show choir worrying about dancing more than singing. i was extremely stiff with my body meaning i didnt know how to DANCE. i couldnt even get down the first 8 counts of the dance audition. i glanced at steven with frustration and right away he came over to aid me. we recapped the dance with me struggling from the first step to the last. he ran it with me twice and told me "you're already improving for your first time dancing. . . just keep practicing the steps".
&newsflash to my audition this year for show choir next year.. i thought i did really well . and my choreographer recommended me as a dance captain? aha, even though i dont think im going to run for that position it left me flattered. soo shoot, i guess without steven helping me audition two years ago, i probably wouldnt have stuck to show choir.
Blackberry messenger.
me: steven, have you left for germany yet?
steven: hey alfie I miss you no we leave on Friday I have rehearsal all this week.
me: ohh can you fit in an hour? or something. I wna see you before you leave.
noo homo, thouggh. who knows, it might be the last time ever seeing him since hes so caught up with his tours and such.
i think its shocking how fast time has gone by. sometimes i dont realize that im a junior.. and that my brother is 21 years old. not even that, but the fact that im turning 17. im still stuck in my elementary days where everything was so stress free while my whole family looked after me. or me and my cousin jonas being labeled in the family as the black sheep causing trouble with our grandpa and grandma. but its all coming into play now since my brother has no time for me.. well not to be selfish.. but the family as well. last time he visited, we didnt even have a traditional get together with our group which consisted of my sister & my two older cousins.
i guess you can say im kinda sick of everything &im living in the past right now. dont take it the wrong way though, im just some what depressed .
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(: i really like what you wrote. i had no idea about you not being able to dance back then! (x Dance Captain? dangg, COOLguy!
&i hope things go back to the way things used to be with your family. keep your head up, Alfred. i like that you let me into your life so comfortably, & that you let people get to know you in all honesty.
--anniely.
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