fun mondays!

im disliking choir like whoa.. but im gonna tough it out. senior year is crazy chill. i love it..
-hung out with the bestie &bought frozen strawberries and bananas. :D
had a heart to heart with her and we talked about touchy subjects. yay for bonding time.
-chilled with robby for a second<33
-senior rec night with the wesley don. pretty boring.. didnt do too much!
-dropped off justin and then waited outside amys house for no reason.
-met up with ashleypark at the school to get her books. :] i win!

mm, well im in a good mood. finally . . . .! i cant blog for shit.

submission.

classic dayy 7:58 pm:

its all out of love
i freakin love her as a best friend
i dont think i want anything

lust for life

monday morning.. no school. whats really good? haha..
i cant stand this feeling right now.. its pretty much eating me alive.
i cant help but hate everything about myself. oh well,
ill get over it.

horrible feelings, but a best friend by my side. bittersweet, bby.
im not feeling life right now.. its so slow. "[
maybe when im 70, ill muse back to this blog and be like "wtf alfred."
might as well try to make the best of everything. senior year.. wsuhhhhp.

"my ex send late night texts, cause she dunno how to let go."

i dont think youre beautiful, i think youre beyond it!

summer was some what of a waste but i actually enjoyed my memorable nights. you really have made this summer distinct from all the others. haha, july 25th is the business i guess. :]

ehh well, senior year just started for me and so far its been too chill. its chill to the point where i actually feel like doing work. oh man, im going to get super lazy this semester. choir is still the same, and im very proud of all the guys that are keeping up with all the experienced veterans. video and broadcasting is quite interesting with isabel whom i havent talked to since elementary. recently, she told me that ive bloomed. i wasnt quite too sure of what it meant but i think she was just trying to say that ive stepped out of my shy box. oh well, its senior year.. i mean who hasnt stepped out? well actually.. maybe i should take that back. english is quite the fun subject too with the all-star line up of robin, melissa, justin, EJ, &best friend lucyyy. thats wsuppppp i guess! hehe.
i end school with foods and nutrition. on friday, ms. stella addressed us about rats and mice being in the kitchen. O_O .. im sure no one knows this but im terribly afraid of rodents. fml. oh wells.. but all in all my schedule is sooo tranquil.
i think the welcome back assembly is coming up soon and i still havent learned the routine that show choir is performing. i kind of dont want to either, since it looks so hip-hop show choirish .. cheesy stuff. bleeh. well, ive come too far to be embarrassed about little things.
ayee.. ive been MIA. missing the walnut friends :[ im talking to cindy right now.. catching up.


be my baby, be my girl. be my $$horty, be my world. be my any and everything that i adore. :]

mass appeal

well, i just came up with a random title . . well actually i was listening to that song at the moment. summer has been SOOOO chill so far. i havent really done anything and i havent seen the people that i want to see. oh well i guess? it sucks knowing that i kind of wasted this summer and knowing that its the first summer where i can drive. i think driving just makes you realize how many things are unavailable to minors. or maybe its just me not knowing what to do. umm ive been dancing for a while and i really need some more improvement. i finally found my own session spot<33

this summer has been making me think too much. maybe im not ready for all of this? this is the closest ive gotten and to be quite honest, im a bit scared. a lot of older people have been telling me that im quite too young to be thinking about this stuff which i have taken into consideration. people have been telling me that im still young and that i should just live it up. but really, in the end, i dont want to be the one hurting anyone. "/

lately my cousin moses has been telling me how much ive grown up. in the same reference, i can say the same thing to him. i remember how shy and how anti social he was before the marines. right when he came back, he was a whole new different person. its crazy how much people can change in a period of time. well, senior year is coming up and im planning to live that shit up<33
i really wish i could just relive my high school years with the knowledge that i have now and just live up all 4 years and not putting them to waste. too bad wishes are fictional. thats pretty contradictory because i do the whole 11;11 thing thanks to JJ and frank. HEHE. everyone is a hypocrite<33

choir camp is coming up and im really not sure what to expect. Im vp of choir which means i have responsibility and i have to set an example. blah, thats pretty new for me since ive always been the follower and youngest in most of the groups ive been in including my family. i have to admit that im pretty psyched and im ready to learn new routines and vibe.
see everyone there! :D

saturday night / sunday morning!

she was like "did you just try to kiss me?"

&i was like "maaan HAILL NAWWW."

aha.. . .

summer so far!

well summer is halfway over . . . . and ihave one more week of summer school left.
ive been hanging out with sonny a lot since hes been gone for a year or so without keeping in contact. steven came back from germany and we still havent caught up but i really enjoy his company. justin is ballin and hes been spending a lot of money lately on clothes with me.
ive been coming home like at 5 in the morning every other day or so. i love driving on the freeway at night time. Nogales.60west.exitonhaciendablvd. / haciendablvd.60east.exitnogales.
well im done . .
anyways, the AA sale was pretty dope too. me and justin met Don who let us cut in line and yeah. he lives in huntington and hes part of kreative movement. i think its branched off kaba modern.. deng, thats highklass. i spent a bill at the sale.. it was so cheap. i cant wait to go back like in august. i needa get a job =\ afterwards, i went to justins' lolas house in la puente to celebrate his b day with his family. haha i like how justins mom introduces me as justins best friend. :] i dunno, life is pretty sweet.. i just wish i can enjoy it more instead of stressing over school and such.
im pretty content with everything.. i guess.. well i dunno im letting a lot of friends slip away from me. sadly, i would really want to repair everything that ive broken in the past. someone told me that i take everything upon myself and its never my fault.. but i dunno. i blame everything on myself most of the time just because i cant help it and i feel that way.
i cant help but feel like second rate, boyfriend number 2, rebound best friend, rebound plan. i feel like im not appreciated enough and that everything i do is taken for granted. im ready to just give up the dumb best friend title if anything cause i feel like it never really meant anything to you. im ready to give up the VP title because i dont know if it will work out during the year. oh well.. ill probably regret saying all this but this is just how i feel. sorry

until next time!

6/25 update

soo i didnt update for my birthday. it was quite fun! :]

i ended up driving to ashleys house around 12.. we talked and she gave me my present. haha.. shes funnnnnay.. she got me an oversized hat. hehehe.

to start off my early birthday morning, i spent it with (:<3 (haha im fcking lame)at some park in hacienda. it was like 2 o clock in the morning and some guy on a skateboard passed by us all fast. O.O a bunch of creepers at night. held hands @ walked around. haha.. went back into my car and talked .
went home to sleep for 2 hours before class started for me -_-
melissa, brenda, xuan, and clarisse starting singing happy birthday to me when i walked in late. ahhhhh awkward.
people started texting me around 11 haha.
i got out at 12:30 . . . and went straight to ashleys house. she blind folded me and started driving my car. i had no idea where we were going.. and i started getting car sick. she ended up bringing me to pathfinder park where everyone surprised me . :]
tehehe ashley is the best.
then later that night we went to eat pho.
best birthday .. pretty much even though im not really adding too much details.

late by a day. happy fathers day.

reflection eternal - nujabes

im feeling a bit off nowadays.. i already know wsup with myself and what i have to do to make myself happy again.
still missing you.. blah.
i was going through my old stuff and i read this letter than my parents wrote me while i was on a retreat.. the first and last retreat that i went to.. which i totally didnt take into consideration. my mistake.
they asked "what if the person that you love disappeared right before you and you didnt tell them that you loved them.." of course i thought about my dad because of our lack of communication.
sorry dad! this still haunts me to this day.. heh. hope youre having a good one up there.

wishing for better days,
alfred..

live for memories.

i lahvv my bestie despite all our fights. :]


-i wish we had more nights like this.
-ummmmm this girl has a hold on me.
-cut my hairrrr.
-texting all day on the weekends
-drove my best friend ashleys car today &she drove mine.
-im trustworthy i guess! :]
-my show is this friday.. ive got a cute duet.
-well im outt.

CHILL

ohh haha! hi blogspot. :]

your favorite,
alfred

sooo happy.

supp blogspot!

last day of testing today. . .
today was pretty boring yet really chill but i was unusually hyper. during our two hour long third period, i watched kevin session inside the pageantry room. hes soo sick and intricate with his moves.. freals.. never realized how good of a dancer he is and plus ive known him since middle school.
tried to session with moses but he was all like "i need to be faded in order to dance". blahblah, aha.. oh well. i wna get better at dancing. tehehe :]
hung out with bryan, michiyo, and lidia at lunch. lidia was being extra mean to me without justin by my side. bryan and michiyo decided that the mochis dont exist anymore. stupid drama happening with my group of friends but i refuse to involve myself in it. i hate when people sacrifice their social life in order to get attention. oh well , , soo much to say about people right now but ill keep it to myself.
denng junior year is almost over,, wsup!

plans for summer

-chill from 93 til!
-catch up with brothers from walnut
-soul sister / soul brother bonding time.
-practice singing/dancing?
-jerking.rules.everything.around.me
-hang out with buddyman.
-TM workshop?
-beach trip . . 10 deep!
-find a job . .
-seaworld w/ just_ez, aimee maps main attraction masiclat, and KC bambi dearskin ondevilla.
-tennis match ?! LMAO.
-get in touch with san diego cousins.
-Krishaaa's debut in late august. = EPICCCCCC cali cousins & new york cousins collab. :] wsuhh culture clash.
-the senior yeaaaar! whoaa, wsupp decade.

im psyched . . . . . . . . . . :]

spring break LATE.

spring break was chill for the most part. chilled with gary & jream mostly.
the weekend was probably the highlight of the whole spring break.
i spent a full day with anniely in san diego which was quite fun.
except for the fact that i felt like aimee and kc from chula vista were ignoring me. we were there for annie's show choir performance. finally caught up with rosenda from chula vista after like 2 months. umm i had a 1on1 gibberish sesh with her! too bad justin wasnt there which i felt bad about. i had to repark annie's car while she was getting ready to perform with her show choir: pacifica encore. ehh we talked for the whole day which was actually quite entertaining. so annie drove back home to her house in garden grove. i picked up my car and left to go home. on the way, i was hallucinating so much because i was so tired. but i got home safely without any accidents. texted annie goodnight and then fell asleep!

saturday was some what boring. went to justins house for a few and then ended up picking up cristine from church. turns out that it was the day of youth rally which didnt seem as hyped out as the years before. we went to frank & sons and then stcostco. all the while, we were waiting for bryan to get done with his performance in corona. we went to church while we waited for bryan to arrive home so he could accompany us to san diego. met up with soul sister marie and best friend uhleesuh! took some pictures with cristines leg1t camera. met up with marvyn and rich surprisingly.. rich tried showing me a buck bang which i didnt pick up. met new people and such which makes me want to attend next years youth rally. last time i staffed for a youth rally was back in my freshman year. it was extremely fun and uplifting. bryan ended up bailing so me and justin left right away to get to go to san diego for show choir's biggest competition: socal. it just so happens to be hosted by chula vista where aimee, kc, and rosenda go. me and justin ended up bumming around the west field mall where socal was being held looking for something to do. finally aimee called us and we hung out for like 6 minutes. then me and justin had to find parking around downtown san diego which took like 35 minutes. finally we found a place to park and we started jerking. these two guys came across us and said "this is grade A humorous entertainment". -__- LOL. i guess! they started watching us jerk and left after 3 minutes. we called aimee and kc and told them that we wanted to hang out so they were down. we ended up picking them up and heading towards chula vista. the car ride was fun and probably the other highlight of my spring break. soo funny , ,
picking on kc and aimee and guilt tripping them. telling them how they never have time to hang out whenever we come up. dedicating slow sexy R&B songs to them.
KC: wow these two are in the mood to make babies tonight.
arrived at KC's house and then we tried having a quick jerk sesh. we tried teaching aimee and kc but they werent willing to learn. :[
serenaded aimee after we dropped off KC ! aha . . sang shawty is a 1o. parked in the middle of aimee's street and unloaded her stuff from my trunk. me and justin gave her a cute present. we showed her our costumes and such.. she asked us to change into them. -___-
LOL,, well yeah.. we left aimee's and then headed towards rowland heights. the car ride home was pretty fun as well. me and justin fcking around and making up lyrics. the usual. hehe.

lame blog post.

tuesday thoughts

so i went through previous posts in my blog and i realized that i was so into life back then. i guess you can say that i kind of toned down..? dont get me wrong, im still satisfied with life but just not as much.

im really missing the people that impacted my sophomore year sincerely.
steven agdeppa- although we didnt TALK all the time the way me and my closer friends this year talk, i still considered him as a close one. someone who i could vent to on the spot or just someone i can just feel comfortable around. i miss our 1on1 sessions after school every other friday. he taught me that gay people arent so bad and that being gay doesnt mean that theyre not into other things that guys are interested in.
i distinctly recall my first time trying out for show choir worrying about dancing more than singing. i was extremely stiff with my body meaning i didnt know how to DANCE. i couldnt even get down the first 8 counts of the dance audition. i glanced at steven with frustration and right away he came over to aid me. we recapped the dance with me struggling from the first step to the last. he ran it with me twice and told me "you're already improving for your first time dancing. . . just keep practicing the steps".
&newsflash to my audition this year for show choir next year.. i thought i did really well . and my choreographer recommended me as a dance captain? aha, even though i dont think im going to run for that position it left me flattered. soo shoot, i guess without steven helping me audition two years ago, i probably wouldnt have stuck to show choir.

Blackberry messenger.

me: steven, have you left for germany yet?
steven: hey alfie I miss you no we leave on Friday I have rehearsal all this week.
me: ohh can you fit in an hour? or something. I wna see you before you leave.
noo homo, thouggh. who knows, it might be the last time ever seeing him since hes so caught up with his tours and such.

i think its shocking how fast time has gone by. sometimes i dont realize that im a junior.. and that my brother is 21 years old. not even that, but the fact that im turning 17. im still stuck in my elementary days where everything was so stress free while my whole family looked after me. or me and my cousin jonas being labeled in the family as the black sheep causing trouble with our grandpa and grandma. but its all coming into play now since my brother has no time for me.. well not to be selfish.. but the family as well. last time he visited, we didnt even have a traditional get together with our group which consisted of my sister & my two older cousins.

i guess you can say im kinda sick of everything &im living in the past right now. dont take it the wrong way though, im just some what depressed .

are we living in a dream world?

"Are we living in a dream world?
Are your eyes still green girl?
I know your sick and tired of arguing
But you can't keep it bottled in
Jealousy, we got to swallow it
Your heart and mind baby follow it
Smile, happiness you could model it
And when you feel opposite
I just want you to know
Im going to do the best I can do
Cause i'm the best when i'm with you. "

1 more argument FTW. IG! :]

weekend!

umm the past weekend was kind of a burn but at the same time it was pretty fun.

friday - went to fullerton jazz festival right when i woke up.. without having to go to school. we had a really good crowd so our performance was pretty awesome.. well i would say so myself. i held open the door for the next performing group and they were so hyped up about how amazing we were. although we didnt place in the competition, it made me feel good inside knowing that people thought we were greaaaat.
gary, louis, justin, bryan, tam, and tj, and i went to subway to get some food and so the girls from Esperanza High School saw us sessioning outside afterwards. they came outside and started admiring us? lmao, pretty funny. they were like "whats jerking?" tehehe.
we went back to the festival and met up with moses. we started up a session with real music and shii. these 2 random black guys had a battle while moses and me instigated it. pretty sick, moses wanted me to get off but i didnt. dunno why? haha, im kinda hesitant.. plus i dont get down sick w/ it.
later that night i went to sadies with my date ruzanne. she looked all cute ,, i guess. :]
umm but it was pretty whack by the end of the night. whack b1tches, freals. whack cock blocks, blah. so i met up with annie, carla, justin, and cristine. i had a 1on1 talk with annie which was chill because i felt like we were just talking on the phone.. the only difference was that she was right there next to me.

saturday - woke up to gary's call asking me if i was ready. so lucky that he called me or else i wouldve slept in. so i got there right when the bus was leaving. i sat next to ashleypark, and helped hold her mirror while she applied her make up. i fed her the other half of my mcdonalds and yeah. we got to burroughs and got ready to perform right away. probably one of my worst performances because i spent so much time thinking about my unhooked vest. my vest unhooked while i was dancing.. and i spent like one number trying to connect it back together. oh well, its over now. then i watched anniely and pacifica encore perform. i actually liked their show and set.. despite the fact that i was influenced to believe it was lame. afterwards, i just chilled with anniely & others. thought it would be a 1on1 but i guess not. hehe, so i just went off and tried to entertain myself with other people. i eventually got bored of everything around me so i just rested on the benches.
turns out that we didnt place in the competition.. everyone was sad on the bus. i was pretty pissed too since ashley was mad at me. oh well... i ended up coming back to the competition with gary, bryan, and justin. we ran into aimee and kc there.. which was funny. me and justin showed them how we play softball. we met more people like crystal.. yeah! it was fun though.. highlight of my weekend. frreals.

sunday - hung out with anniely @ disneyland. she took away my disneyland CA adventure virginity. shessss chill. tehehe. k im done.

april fools day

daze have been going by awfully fast; in time ill be a senior. :O
during my elementary years, i would always avoid the sidewalk where most of the high schoolers would walk.
walking home with frank, will, and marcos was a daily thingg. then we would head over to the park right after we dropped off our backpacks at home. &then walking home all sore at night after playing long hours of basketball. yeah. . . . i used to play basketball.

well today i went shopping in melrose for sadies on friday. i kind of have an idea of what im gna wear.. so i think im fine. cristine and justin accompanied me on the long journey out on the 60 freeway. whenever i take a freeway, its usually the 57 towards garden grove or disneyland. but i actually prefer the 57 over the 60. 6o stays traffic.. all day everyday.
im pretty boring. maybe when im inspired to write, ill write something meaningful.

ive been watching hey arnold.. my all time favorite cartoon.
basically, arnold likes leila.. but leila doesnt feel the same way.

leila: -- after all thats happened between us.. when im really honest with myself.. i dont like you like you. i just like you.
arnold: youre dumping me arent you?
leila: not in so many words. its cause i really admire you and i treasure our friendship. the last thing id ever want to do is hurt you.
arnold: i understand . . .
leila: we still can be good friends can't we?
arnold: sure leila.

i guess this is the update that everyone has been asking for. x]

&ismile

cristinejane, justine, J.R.[e].A.M, anniely,

franktsaur, jjdevela, willtsao, justinahn, nick, melissak, Sam, Cindymao


bryan, gary, &boba.



maaaaaake me smile :]

sunday morning..

rain is falling.

i dont think its normal to be this depressed..
i dont even know the full reasons half the time. :[

3 day weekend

well im @ franks house and my computer is kinda broken so i dont update this really.

-erika = valentine
- i didnt even get to chill with her on valentines. whatever.. now i know how pointless valentines is.
-i got my license.. im driving everywhere now.
-i love visiting people @ night.
-went to a chill spot last night. ate wendys..
-went to the shiloh hotel? and tried to crash this debut.. but everyone was dressed all formally.
-fcked around in the hotel like it was hotel 66.. shit! aha :D
-then went on a trail by steven agdeppa's house..
-saw a view that wasnt as great as jj's
-it was all muddy and everyone's shoes got fcked up. :[ sorry melissa.
-umm walkeeeed on the trail for like 30-40 minutes. kinda pointless but it was fun with the homies. :]

well im out.. practice soon! peace<3

last day of finals

-got in a fight with best friendd, ashley
-made her cry :[
-made alexis cry.. bleh,
-last day of finals.. i dropped alg. 2. i cant keep up with it
-umm me gary and michiyo headed towards ashley house because she was crying
-amy and eunice were already there.
-michiyo starts venting while crying. :[[
-i comfort her,
-mochi reunion on the sidewalk of ashley's house.
-i apologized to ashley for making her cry..
- tonight was so dramatic. forreals,, but pretty interesting.
-cant wait till i start driving..
-wished with all the mochis at 11:11;;

good times, lets all grow from this!

last day of finals

hi o9.

i lahvs my bestie. :]




wsuppp ,family!<3 :]

mias party was funn.
-sexy dance battle girls against boys.
-boys were killing it. :] i sparked it off with a body roll.
-the dancing got all dherty when all the ghetto people came.
-jizz in my pants.
-talked with erika for a whiles on a bench. i held her so she wouldnt fall.. haha,
-alexis sat next to me.. and we started cuddling. -_- justin texted me saying "gg nub." LMAO. :[
-talked with erika as we laid on the floor.
-i took her jacket and filled it with decorative stars that i found on the table. i put in a gang of stars. :]
-ehh, i stayed with erika @ the front gate after everyone left.
-scared her a bit about that rapist from nogales.
-she got extremely scared, so i held her for comfort. lmao.
-she dropped me off.
-i called her and i was like "aye, check your left pocket"
-she was like omgg stars! :]
-LOL,, fcck so we talked till like 2 o clock.. telling eachother secrets. lmaao, shes so cute.
-i told her that id bring her to a drive in movie but shes like "it has to be spontaneous!"
-i told her that i like her :X